Things I Remind Myself Daily – Part 2

Have you ever been called over dramatic? Too sensitive? Or, my favorite, crazy?! Have you ever felt really excited, or really sad, and then given reasons why you shouldn’t? Well in case you haven’t experienced this let me tell you how it feels, LIKE SH*T! Yes. I put that in all capitals with a curse word because getting told your feelings don’t matter or are wrong doesn’t just a feel like little paper cut, no. Getting your feelings invalidated feels like getting punched in the gut by the biggest fists in the world. Repeatedly.

Maybe that’s an over dramatization, but guess what? I don’t care! Why? Because it’s how I feel, and I’m allowed to feel however I want! And guess what, SO DO YOU!

I grew up in what I later learned to be an emotionally abusive home. Constantly being told that my feelings were too much, ridiculous, or crazy. When I voiced my opinion I reminded how wrong I was, a “moron”. When I got really excited about a new TV show, or a doll, or new music I was informed I was childish and lacked taste. And when I picked up hobbies that were different from my siblings I was told how I was lazy, silly, or a nerd. I was left confused and feeling like something was wrong with me. Why can’t I just think like everyone else? Why can’t I be good at what everyone else is?

These feelings turned to shame, self-hatred, and anxiety.

Its been a long journey since then, and honestly, I’m still learning to deal. But one thing I have learned to do, when I’m facing judgement and feeling shame and doubt, is to question. I ask myself:

• Do I believe what they are telling me?
• Do they have my best interest at heart?
• Do I feel good about what they’ve told me?
• Did they speak to my kindly?
• Is this person happy?

If I answer all these questions with an overwhelming NO, then I turn away from them, they don’t deserve any more of my energy, and remind myself “I’m allowed to feel however I feel” and get back to living my best life.